The Art of Spiritual Progress
by Swami Veda Bharati
We are here for a purpose; it is an ongoing spiritual process. We are all here for spiritual liberation, and serving the mission is part of that. This becomes the higher mission that all of us are serving, and for this purpose alone we are purifying ourselves of our pride and ego. For these reasons we train ourselves in constant self-observation: to see oneself, to hear oneself, to develop this internal dialogue. I have used one criterion for all my thoughts, my words and my actions:
“Is this conducive to spiritual liberation.”
We are still learning to walk on this path and have not yet fully learned to observe the effects of our attitudes and actions on others. For this reason, please allow me to offer some of the ways I have personally used in my own life to guide my attitudes and responses. They have been my experiments in life, and I pass them on for you to experiment with.
1. Say the unpleasant in a pleasant way.
2. Make excuses for the other party. Ask yourself what caused the person to react in such-and-such a way. What are the pains of that person over the last 5 or 10 years that had caused such an accumulation of suffering that s/he reacts in such a manner when “triggered”?
3. Reduce negatives by one half before forming negative reactions.
4. Reconcile the opposites.
5. Learn to get along with those you were previously unable to trust.
6. Make no decisions without wide consultation.
7. Reflect and recognize your own needs, conflicts, insecurities, failings, without projecting them on others; and learning to resolve them through:
a. internal dialogue
b. internal confession
c. outward confession
d. apology
8. If there is a suspicion that you might have been wrong or right, presume to be wrong and acknowledge that to others, letting them make the choice, and then accepting their decision without denying or justifying it from your personal interests. Trust in their sense of forgiveness.
9. Have a willingness to surrender one-half of your ground, thereby finding that middle ground between your view and someone else’s view.
10. In an unpleasant situation, examine your own conflicts and not someone else’s, so as to bring resolution without blame. It is not about “facts,” it is about one’s state of mind, and in that state of mind remembering that you are a team member.
11. Remember that you do not become angry because of “THIS particular incident or situation.” You are angry because of your past mental habits – and those habits have deepened to the point of wanting to release it and get it out. So now, knowing this, find other ways to ease your mind by other ways, such as:
a. Learning to apologize for the other person.
b. Contemplating: “What might be the limitations in the capacity of the
other person that I was not sensitive to and have overlooked, and,
therefore, I chose not to make an adjustment in my expectations?”
c. Contemplating again: “What pain has the other person suffered in life?”
– not as judgment, but by way of compassion.
d. Figuring-out: “What excuses can I provide for that person’s behavior?”
12. Carry authority without carrying “authority.” Lead without seeming to be leading. Bring others along, including them, informing them, sharing with them. Ask for their ideas and opinions and thereby reach a consensus – a collective decision. In letting people listen and accept you and your ideas, you will develop the art of bringing people along with you – and that is leadership!
13. When you take on other people’s responsibilities, ask yourself how you first spoke with them. How did you communicate that failing of theirs? Remember, first you must learn to hold back the urge to blame. Then it will be said pleasantly.
14. We all have certain abilities, and we all have the urge to serve, but when we feel the need to take on areas of responsibility that are not “ours,” ask yourself how that happened.
15. REMEMBER: Chitta Prasadana (pleasant-mindedness) at all times.
If over the next 3 months you can make a 10% reduction in: a) hostility, b) fear, and c) anger toward others, then you are doing well. Practice anger sublimation and humility for it affects the entire mission. Take courage to face your angers, which are reflected in a harsh tone of voice, insulting comments or confrontational body language that evokes a negative response in the other person. Then as a kalyana mitra (noble friend) speak openly and listen back to oneself.
Remember: no instant reaction without full contemplation on the points given above.
Excerpt from
The Art of Spiritual Progress and the Purpose of our Mission in Our Work, November 9th & 26th (2003)
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